If there is one phrase synonymous with pregnancy, it's "morning sickness". Everyone just assumes that once you become pregnant, you're going to be bed-ridden with the ante-meridian sickies but that you'll be totally fine once you pass the hump of the first trimester.
These "people" are either
a) men;
b) women who have never been pregnant;
c) women who somehow got amnesia after being pregnant before; or
d) the magical unicorns of pregnancy who just float by without any fucking symptoms and are adorable their entire pregnancy.
Morning sickness, as it is so called, is actually the biggest load of crap you'll deal with in pregnancy. And yes, I can actually say that with utmost certainty because a high percentage of women will deal with more puke coming out of them than poop. #constipation
It doesn't just last in the morning. It doesn't just last in the first trimester. It's not always just a case of feeling a little "off" and that you need some water or to lie to down. Or that crackers or dry toast or gingerale will help alleviate it. For some women, including a couple friends of mine and the Duchess of Cambridge, get it so bad that they literally have to be hospitalized. And this is how they feel the ENTIRE pregnancy.
With my first child, I was somewhat of a magical unicorn. I only had mild nausea in the first trimester, and it was always at night/suppertime. I wasn't working at the time so I was able to just lie down and take a nap whenever my body said it wanted to. And my husband didn't really care if he got home and I was comatose on the couch and he had to fend for himself for supper. This time around? I had to delve into the world of prescription anti-nausea pills (Diclectin) at roughly 10 weeks pregnant and here I am, 22 weeks later, and I'm still taking them daily. I work, I have a toddler to take care of, my husband is out of town working, and I'm dealing with all of this house re-building bullshit. My body is also 4 years older than it was when pregnant with my first, and it's like "HAHAHA FUCK YOU BITCH WHY DID YOU WANT TO DO THIS AGAIN" as I lie on the couch praying I don't lose whatever I just attempted to eat.
I told my workplace early - as in I was only like 8 weeks pregnant - because I came to work one morning with a box of junior mints, a coke slurpee, and gummy candies. At 830 in the morning. And they kind of stared at me like I was crazy. So, the cat was out of the bag and I just didn't care that they knew. If anything were to have happened, I would at least have a good explanation as to why I was moping around.
But all of that has absolutely nothing to do with why I'm writing today.
This post goes out to all of the women who willingly choose to keep going with the baby farming despite how shitty they feel.
I get it. Kids are pretty awesome, especially when you can grow them yourself. Some women (or men, for that matter) want a million kids to overpopulate the world with (shit, I sound bitter)so they just keep on doing "what God wants and allows them to do". I'm about 900% sure that God has nothing to do with you choosing to use your baby bucket so often that the kid is lucky it doesn't just fall out.
I am certainly and definitely grateful that I am able to create and carry life. But I also know that if I felt exponentially shittier this pregnancy compared to my last, that I am done with utilizing my baby bucket. I know women who have what seems like a million kids (enough to fill a Hutterite van at least) who feel like hot salty garbage every pregnancy... AND THEY KEEP GOING. Why. Why do they continue to do this to themselves? And further, why do they continue to complain about how shitty they feel?
"Ugggh. Morning sickness is so bad! How did I forget this from last time?" they moan, when their previous child is less than a year old. Sometimes I just want to tell them to shut the hell up, they did it to themselves.
But I much prefer being passive-aggressive and writing a blog post about them.
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