Today is Brought To You ...

By the letter "Fat". In the height of post-Christmas fatness, I'm going to make things even worse because, let's face it, the most delicious things are typically the most fattening. Which is awful.

First dish I share today is that of vodka sauce. The recipe that I use is Penne with Spicy Vodka Tomato Cream Sauce, as found on the All-Recipes. They have many variations of the recipe, but this is the one I like the most.

I like the way that the italian sausage is set off by the tomato sauce with red pepper flakes and the slight, and I mean very slight, tang of vodka.



Penne with Spicy Vodka Tomato Cream Sauce

1 pound uncooked penne pasta
1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil
4 cloves garlic, minced (I've also substituted garlic powder or garlic salt... about a 1/2 tsp either way)
1/2 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes
1 (28 ounce) can crushed tomatoes
3/4 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons vodka
1/2 cup heavy whipping cream
1/4 cup chopped fresh parsley
2 (3.5 ounce) links sweet Italian sausage (I use one pack of ground sausage)

Anyone who knows me knows that I like to line up my ingredients first. Mostly for ease of having everything on hand, but I also like to take pictures of it. I'm special. Okay, when I give you this recipe, I'm going to tell you what I do, as opposed to what the recipe calls for. For example, I never use the olive oil. Sausage is oily enough, and if you use a non-stick skillet you can get away with it. Or if it's going to stick, just use a bit of cooking spray to get it done.

1. In a deep skillet, brown the sausage. Once it's cooked through, drain and rinse. Put back into the skillet.

2. Season with the garlic and salt, sometimes I throw some seasoning salt in there. Pour in the can of tomatoes, and add the red pepper flakes. As you're letting it simmer, cook your pasta until al dente. I definitely like to wait until the sauce is simmering before I start cooking my pasta, although if you look at the recipe they tell you to start the pasta first and then do your sauce. Which is stupid, because once the sauce is done your pasta would be ice cold. I digress. 

3. After it's simmered for a bit, pour in your vodka, and then add your cream and reduce the heat. Allow the sauce to thicken, stirring gently and occasionally. Once the sauce has reached YOUR desired thickness (I like to say your desired because some people like runny sauces, some people like thicker sauces), then toss with the pasta. Arrange pasta on a plate and sprinkle/garnish with parsley. The parsley is literally just a garnish, it doesn't add anything.  And then eat it with your face hole!

The dessert I am going to feature today is one I found on the Chipits website called Double Chocolate Mint Bars. At first, I was curious about them. I thought "These are too rich to make" etc etc. And then I was attempting to study for an exam and decided that baking was a better idea than studying for the exam. How can I describe these bars? Brownies with fudge on top. With Peppermint. The recipe gives both the Metric and Imperial measurements, so I'm just going to leave it as is.

1 3/4 cups (425 mL) all-purpose flour
1 cup (250 mL) granulated sugar
1/2 cup (125 mL) cocoa
1/3 cup (75 mL) packed light brown sugar
1 1/2 teaspoons (7 mL) baking powder
1/4 teaspoon (1 mL) salt
1 1/4 cups (300 mL) butter or margarine, divided
3 eggs, slightly beaten
1/2 teaspoon (2 mL) mint extract, divided
1 package (350 g) CHIPITS® Semi-Sweet Chocolate Chips (2 cups/500 mL)
1 can (300 mL) sweetened condensed milk (not evaporated milk)

1. Heat oven to 350°F (180°C). Grease 13 x 9-inch (33 x 23 cm) baking pan.
2. In large bowl, mix together flour, granulated sugar, cocoa, brown sugar, baking powder and salt. Cut in 3/4 cup (175 mL) of the butter until mixture resembles coarse crumbs.
3. Beat in eggs and 1/4 teaspoon (1 mL) of the mint extract. Spread mixture into pan.
4. Bake 23 to 25 minutes or until wooden pick inserted in center comes out clean.
5. In saucepan over low heat, melt remaining 1/2 cup (125 mL) butter with chocolate chips, stirring constantly. Stir in sweetened condensed milk. Remove from heat; stir in remaining 1/4 teaspoon (1 mL) mint extract. Spread over baked layer. Let stand 20 minutes or until slightly set.
6. Drizzle VANILLA GLAZE over top. Refrigerate until set, about 1 hour. Cut into bars. ** I absolutely SUCK at glazes. If you go to the website and look at the picture they have, it looks pretty and delicious and yummy. Mine looks like I just dumped some runny white icing all over it.
Makes about 24 bars.
VANILLA GLAZE: Stir together 3/4 cup (175 mL) icing sugar, 5 teaspoons (25 mL) milk and 1/2 teaspoon (2 mL) vanilla. Makes about 1/3 cup (75 mL) glaze.

And there we have it. A fatty fat meal for post Christmas. Maybe tomorrow I'll actually post something that's good for you as well as good in your mouth. 

Double Entry!

Awesome, right? I felt that what better way to show that I am committed to updating this blog on a semi-regular basis than to update it twice in one night? You might say that maybe I should get some sleep and THEN write another entry. But then I just call you ridiculous and laugh in your face.

This entry will be dedicated to recipes that I didn't change. Or alter. Or the alterations are so minor that they don't even matter.

The first one I am going to share is the Bruschetta recipe from the 100 Best Appetizer Recipes cook book I received from my sister-in-law, Amanda. I definitely think that anyone who wants a good cook book that is dedicated solely to appetizers should pick this one up. There are many mouthwatering convections innit.

Bruschetta

2 Italian rolls (I used a baguette)
1 can diced tomatoes
2 tbsp chopped, fresh basil
1 tbsp finely chopped onion
1 tbsp olive oil
1 small clove garlic, crushed
¼ tsp oregano
¼ tsp salt
1/8 tsp black pepper

1. Toast your bread (can slice into individual pieces first OR do the whole loaf and then cut pieces off from there. I’ve seen it both ways)

2. In a pan, mix all stuff together. Spoon onto bread.(Use a slotted spoon to make things not soggy)

3. Broil for as short a time as you can or burning will ensue. And seriously, burning will happen. I put a mild damper on a family dinner that way.

The next recipe comes from the ridiculous kitchen of the sisters Janet and Greta Podleski. They are the Eat, Shrink, & Be Merry ladies from Food Network. The cook book that I have is called Crazy Plates, and it's pretty awesome. I keep meaning to pick up the other ones, but then when I get to the book store or Amazon I find a billion other things that I want. 

Onward ho!

I tried many recipes from this book, but I'm going to give you

" Bean Me Up, Scotty", which is a delicious black bean taco soup. Some have also called it tortilla soup. This recipe doesn't call for tortillas, so that name confuses me. And also makes me want nachos.

The description on the recipe for this soup is as follows:

Captain's log: it's the most enterprising combination of ingredients on the planet. Soup that boldly goes where no soup has gone before.

2 tsp olive oil

1 cup each chopped onions, chopped red bell pepper, and chopped carrots (make yourself a mirepoix)

1 clove garlic, minced

1 jalapeno pepper, seeded and minced

3 cups low-fat beef broth

1 cup topmato sauce

2 cans (19 oz each) black beans, drained and rinsed

2 tbsp chopped, fresh cilantro

1 tbsp each lemon juice and brown sugar

2 tsp dried oregano

1 tsp each chili powder, ground cumin, and Worcestershire sauce

1/2 tsp dried thyme

1/4 tsp black pepper

6 tbsp low-fat sour cream

Chopped, fresh cilantro for garnish (optional)

1. Heat olive oil in a large soup pot over medium heat. Add onions, red pepper, carrots, garlic, and jalapeno. Cook and stir for 5 minutes, until vegetables begin to soften.

2. Add all remaining ingredients, except sour cream. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat to medium-low and simmer, covered, for 10 minutes.

3. Working in batches, transfer soup to blender or food processor and puree until smooth. Return to pot.

4. Top each bowl of soup with a tablespoon of sour cream. Garnish with chopped cilantro, if desired.

Side note about this recipe: you are so stupid-full off of one ladle & a half bowl. I mean "I just ate 5 tacos and some chips" kind of full. And do NOT over do it with the soup, or you won't want to eat it again. And that's just sad. Like, sad-panda sad.

Happy January!

If there is one resolution I can follow through with, it would be to actually post to this blog. And to make delicious food at home. Today I followed through for the first time in the new year. I decided to make some yummy lasagna and pumpkin pies for dessert.

 This was only the second time in my entire cooking life that I decided to tackle the awesomeness that is lasagna. You might be saying to yourself "It's noodles, sauce, and cheese. How hard can it be?" And that's when I want you to tell yourself that you're a silly goose and that it is actually quite difficult. Or at least time intensive, which isn't always awesome. However, it freezes well and the leftovers are just as good.

I have become known for my pumpkin pies. It's one of my favourite pies, and therefore I deemed it necessary to become awesome at it. I love apple pie, too, but I still suck at that one. I'll get better, I promise. And I know that I'll have a ton of taste testers along the way.

Anyway!



Of course the pumpkin pies should be made first. They take a shorter time to bake than the lasagna, and they can cool and be put back into the oven after the lasagna is done.

Paige's Perfectly Awesome Pumpkin Pie (I originally said Perfect, but it can be screwed up quite easily)
1 large can of pureed pumpkin (NOT pie filling. The ED Smith pumpkin is what I tend to use)
1 can sweetened condensed milk (300mL , and I use the reduced fat or whatever it is)
2 cups brown sugar
4 eggs
2 heaping teaspoons cinnamon
1 heaping teaspoon ginger
1 teaspoon nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon salt
sprinkling of ground cloves (I am going to say it equals 1/4 teaspoon)
2 9" deep dish pie crusts

1. Preheat oven to 450F
2. Lightly beat the eggs. Add remaining ingredients, save the condensed milk.
3. Gently fold in the condensed milk.
4. Pour mixture into the two pie crusts (which you either have set onto a cookie sheet or have taken out of their foil and placed into pie plates like I did), and bake for 15 minutes.
5. Reduce heat to 350F and bake for an additional 30-35 minutes.



When I did this , having put them into pie plates instead of just leaving in their foil and placing on cookie sheets, I had to add about another 10 minutes to baking.

Part two of my cooking extravaganza was the lasagna. Now, I had made lasagna from scratch only once before (as aforementioned), and I'm going to be straight up... I made it the night before, as I was going to get completely licked that night and knew I wouldn't be able to handle making it the day of. And both mine and Tyler's families were going to meet for the first time, so it was pretty important. The next day, I was so hungover that it actually qualified as alcohol poisoning, and I was off work for an entire week and on some pretty strong antibiotics.

Why did I feel the need for that back story, we'll never know. Maybe it's to say that where everyone else said that my lasagna the first time was good, I don't remember it's taste because I couldn't eat much. Sure, we'll go with that.

Not so much for this time around. I was the first one to take a bite and I went "Hells yes, this is awesome" and dug on in. I have no modesty when it comes to cooking, nor do I think I SHOULD have modesty when it comes to cooking. I'm looking to impress myself and Tyler first, others later. Others this time around being Emma and Riley.

Om Nom Nom Lasagna

16 - 17 oven ready lasagna noodles
1 pound lean ground beef (I also wanted 1 pound of mild Italian sausage, but Loblaw's doesn't carry it)
2 cups (500g) cottage cheese OR Ricotta cheese. Depends how fancy you want to go
1 pack of Kraft Italiano Cheese blend
3/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese
1 jar tomato sauce (= 3 cups)*
couple shakes of Worcestershire sauce
1 cup water

1. Preheat oven to 350F
2. Brown the beef. Drain, rinse, and season.
3. Heat sauce and water. Add Worcestershire and beef, allow to simmer and gently boil for as long as you want.
4. In a medium sized bowl, combine cottage cheese, 2 cups Italiano cheese, 1/2 cup parmesan
5. Spray a 9x13 pan (if you have a relatively rectangular one, use that. The rounded Pyrex ones make it difficult for noodle placement). Layer your goods as follows
- thin layer sauce
- noodles
- cheese mix
- sauce
- noodles
- cheese mix
- sauce
- noodles
- sauce
- remaining bag of Italian cheese and that last 1/4 cup of parmesan. If you have any additional mozza cheese, that can be added too.
6. Bake for 45 - 60 minutes, depending on your oven and the crispiness of cheese you're looking to acquire.

Okay, so, I had some leftover green onions and about half a tomato from tacos the night before. I thought "Why not use these?" so I saute'd until they were soft and then added the sauce and stuff. It totally was an awesome addition.

* I make my own sauce using crushed tomatoes, garlic tomato paste, and a veritable cornucopia of spices. Seriously, it's a crazy amount. I'll write down what I do next time, but for now I say either use your own recipe for tomato sauce or purchase some of the pre-made stuff. The Tomato & Pesto stuff (the jar that mine was in) is really good, and basic sauces like Prego or Ragu are alright as well. By far the best no-name sauce was the Blue Menu President's Choice stuff for kids. It had enough zing and was smooth enough that Tyler was satisfied.

Food was delicious, hangouts were fun, and all in all it was a great meal. We now have leftovers of lasagna and a whole pie in the freezer, ready for random "Oh hey we have pie!" times. Which will probably be me tomorrow after my first workout of the new year. Yeah, that resolution is going to actually happen. It'll have to, with all the tasty food I'll be concocting.

Obligatory First Entry

It has been mentioned to me, with all of my pictures of the tasty things I make, that I should post pictures and recipes all in one place. Which I am totally jumping on. Who doesn't love delicious things? I just finished baking/making these things about half an hour ago, and felt that I would start off with that. Over this week while I'm staying at my parent's house to look after the house/dog/my sister, I'll be doing a lot of baking, so there will be tons of pictures. However, I will tell you this right now... I can't disclose my recipe for gingerbread or sugar cookies. My Gramma was incredibly upset with my mom for disclosing the sugar cookie recipe to my aunt (my dad's sister), so I'm not going to suffer that wrath. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

Butter Tarts
3 eggs
1 cup corn syrup
1 cup white sugar
2 tbsp melted butter
1 tsp vanilla
1 1/4 cup raisins or 1 cup chopped pecans
24 3" Frozen tart shells, thawed

1. Beat eggs lightly with fork in a bowl.  Add corn syrup, sugar, melted butter, and vanilla. Stir until blended.

2. Spoon raisins/pecans into tart shells, pour in filling, about two-thirds full.

3. Bake at 350F for 20 - 25 minutes or until set and golden.

Chipits Dark Chocolate Peppermint Bark
2 cups Hershey's Chipits Special Dark Chocolate Chips or Semi-Sweet Chocolate Chips
1/4 cup peppermint pieces (candy canes)

1. Line a rimmed baking sheet with wax paper.
2. Place chocolate chips in a medium-sized, microwave-safe bowl. Microwave on MEDIUM (50%) for 1 minute; stir. If necessary, continue to microwave, 15 seconds at a time and stirring after each interval, just until chips are melted and smooth.
3. Stir all but 1 tbsp (15 mL) crushed candy into the melted chocolate. Pour chocolate mixture onto prepared baking sheet; spread evenly, about 1/2-inch (1 cm) thick. Gently tap the bottom of the baking sheet on the counter to even out the thickness of the mixture. Sprinkle the surface with reserved peppermint candy.
4. Chill for 30 minutes or until firm; break into pieces. Store, tightly sealed, in a cool, dry palce. Makes about 3/4 lb (375 g) candy.

* Increase peppermint candy, if desired.